Grand Theft Autonomy

"999, what's your emergency?"
I'd like to report a crime: grand theft autonomy
I spent years digging deep into history
Why the fuck was my autonomy taken away from me when I was a kid? What the fuck's wrong with saying no?
It felt like my soul had nowhere to go
All these wasted years cost my sanity
As people find my discomfort entertaining
Testing my boundaries, that's so violating

This is grand theft autonomy
People pleasing feels like involuntary lobotomy
Such a bad idea, starting psychotherapy
Why does my pain bring people joy
They wouldn't dismiss my autism if I were born a boy

I survived life by masking
"How are you?" Why even bother asking?
When I speak but no one listens, it feels like I'm speaking to a brick wall
Oh, I see how it is, you find it funny when I fall

Years later, who the fuck's at my door?
The mask that I was forced to wear that was left on the floor
Fuck that, I won't be the bigger person
People don't wanna admit that they're the problem; they'll never learn

You don't get to choose on how I feel about what's bothering me
Your issues with who I am ain't my responsibility
I've never considered you family

I don't wanna know about your culture
Whilst watching me live my truth like a vulture

Submissive Delusion

They call it truth, I call it fragile fabrication,
throwing tantrums when I choose education,
I won’t be reduced to just a wife or a mother,
I won’t play the part of another man’s lover.
Fuck you all, I'm taking back my power

I refuse to defend what degrades me
Like a chicken standing up for KFC
Never negotiate with a terrorist, they say
I've seen it all before, I know the games they play 

Makes no sense that they smoke and drink alcohol
Yet they get offended over anything related to pigs
Why should I rely on a god, instead of curing my period pain with a paracetamol
Their definition of heaven is having 72 virgins; my definition of heaven is listening to hunky tattooed men, pig squealing in metal gigs
I don't understand their obsession with somebody's sex life
Sometimes, I feel sorry for the wife
But at the same time, they don't fully deserve my sympathy
Because their jealousy is sugar-coated with internalised misogyny
They are the princesses of patriarchy
Wtf are they doing, living in Western society

What do they gain by threatening me with violence
for not covering my hair?
Shouldn’t they be the ones lowering their gaze?
They call my existence sinful while being in their element of submissive delusion
Here I am, watching them hurt themselves in confusion
They'll be the architect of their own demise
Trying to fool everyone with their lies

Generation WTF

 Every generation has its flaws
Now they're all going through a generational war
Fighting over which generation is better
You know you can still do the old school way of writing a (love) letter
People love to romanticise the fifties while forgetting the fact that their grandmothers went through so much pain
Because they were stuck with a ball & chain
Getting beaten black & blue if she didn't get dinner ready
When feminists fought so hard for equality
Now you've got girls getting dramatic because their first date didn't pay for their meal
I honestly don't get why they're making this into a big deal

 Existing is expensive, yet we get told that we're lazy
While the older generation had everything handed to them, that shit's crazy
"Back in my day..." Okay boomer, boomer. We heard it all before
Didn't you start a rumour? Saying that I'm some whore
You think I'm gonna put up with your bullshit?
Because I wouldn't let you steal my spirit

Hush youngling
You don't know a thing
Why should I listen to you? I didn't ask for your pointless advice
Behind that fake smile, I know you're pretending to be nice
You think I'm gonna fall for your pathetic propaganda? 
"Men and women can't be friends." Fuck that shit, that mentality is toxic
Yet you're reading books that romanticise stalkers & rapists, you make me sick

Kids these days are getting rude
Throwing a tantrum when they get their iPad taken away
One day, they'll understand the value of money
Probably not because they think that shit's funny
Especially spending too much time on Tiktok
When they're all too young to be talking about sucking cock

I'm getting tired of this degeneracy
Everything's about supremacy

Heartless Harmony (Sweet Smoke Of Liberation)

I find bliss in this heartless harmony
In a world of self-righteous diversity
With this sweet smoke of liberation
I don't need your half-arsed invitation

Reconnecting with those who hurt me is like reading the same book over and over again
When I already know how the story will end

The people around me don't know the fucking meaning of loyalty
Yet they expect me to treat them like royalty
Loved me when I'm silent
Hate me when I'm outspoken
Acting like they care when I disappear
When they are the ones who should be living in fear

Each day, I spent ages picking the shattered pieces off my back
Each drop of blood reminds me of each haunting memory
Until I smell the sweet smoke of liberation
Free from the games of manipulation

Life's been a breath of fresh air
Without anyone under my skin or in my hair
The sound of silence has been music to my ears
Crying over snakes is nothing but a waste of tears

No one to drain me until my soul is gone
Accept a half-arsed apology from you and take you back into my life? Nah, that sounds like self-abuse
That's no use
When I don't see the point of drinking water, full of poison

Don't try to guilt-trip me with these meaningless memories
Because you'll never find me, disappearing through the sweet smoke of liberation

Disrespect Is Disloyalty

Uh-oh, self-respect has left the group chat
Hey Karma, where the fuck you at?
Jealous of my existence while you keep running your mouth
I'm not surprised that your love life has gone south

Who are you trying to impress?
Isn't it exhausting? Belittling me just to get validation
Hush bitch, you can't even bench press
It must be exhausting to not get enough attention

Does it look like I give second chances? I think not
The mask falls, and disloyalty is written all over your face
Leaving me with disrespect that I was forced to embrace
Defending those who destroyed my soul, that's cheapshot

It's no surprise that you see me as competition
You talk shit like a politician
Your jealousy is my ammunition
I'm stronger than your degree in manipulation 

Disloyalty is disrespect in disguise
Your fault that you ruined your own life

Don't put the blame on me, I wasn't fucking born yesterday
Do I have to spell it out for you? Go the fuck away!

Side Character Syndrome

Dr. Thorn here, here is your diagnosis
Psycho without the psychosis
*cleara throat* side character syndrome
And a kleptomaniac who tried to take my home

Motherfuckers wanna be the main character so badly
I don't care that you hate me, truly, madly, deeply
I don't have time to hear another sob story
"Why aren't you traditional?" Mate, this is the 21st century

Jealousy, it's written all over your face
Quit yakking, step the fuck back! You're in my personal space
You think you're kind, but you've got the heart of a coward
Aww, are you intimidated? Look who's disempowered
Hiding behind female empowerment while gossiping with your frenemy twenty-four seven
I may not be religious, but it sounds like you won't make it to Heaven 
You handed me the knife after siding with the evil sister-in-law
That was the last fucking straw
You were supposed to be my aunt
Now that your true colours have been exposed, *clears throat* CUNT!

Dear sister-in-law,
Just admit that you assaulted me like a donkey, hee-haw
You clearly made an arse out of yourself
Misery is written all over your face
Cheating on my brother while acting so self-righteous and religious, you're a fucking disgrace
You used your pregnancy as an excuse to be hostile towards me and my mum
Acting like you were the only pregnant woman in the world
Going after everyone's money, you're scum

So glad you're no longer in my home
Here's your diagnosis: you have side character syndrome
There will never be a truce
Especially when it involves all kinds of abuse
Financially
Mentally
Psychologically
You make antisemitism your whole personality
Shut up, princess, we know you're kryptonite is accountability
I can't believe I considered you as family
We all know you wanted to get with my dad so badly
You were desperate for a sugar daddy
*cough cought* gold digger
Go on, nonce apologist, pull the fucking trigger!

My face will be the last thing you'll see
Run like a coward, like you always do
You don't want me to get ahead of you
News flash, I'll remain undefeated
Bye-bye! Your existence has been deleted

 

All Talk No Walk

 This poem is dedicated to all those motherfuckers that make religion their whole personality
while they go around parading their hypocrisy

Fuck off

Practice what you preach, they say
Yet they go mumbling shit while they pray
Slagging off people for having a sex life while you're sex obsessed
Okay, I get being sexually repressed
But what has my character got to do with how I'm dressed
Keep walking; you're nothing but all talk
Stop talking; you can't walk the walk

You fucking what?
I ain't a Harry Potter fan but are you fucking Voldemort?
As treacherous as a snake, hiss hiss
Leave me alone, I'm jamming to Paleface Swiss

I'm not sorry that you find my happiness offensive
Go and get a hobby that isn't going after married men, that shit's obsessive
Why does it bother you when someone doesn't believe in God
Putting "God first" and including verses from a religious book in your bio while heavily judging others, that shit is fraud
"You're going to Hell for this!" Is that a threat?
The whole world knows your dirty little secret
You'll never understand the ordeals I've been through, so don't even talk
The guilt's written all over your face, bragging about sucking off some man's cock

"You used to be pretty back then," fuck off, I'm still pretty
You take the r out of pretty; yeah, you're petty
Cunts like you seem to be allergic to taking accountability 
Using your religion as an excuse to mock my disability
"I've been nothing but nice to you," oh fuck off
Here you go, avoiding accountability again
Aww, are you so insecure that you go after someone else's man?
Don't like how I wear my eyeliner? That sounds like a YOU problem
Sounds like you have side character syndrome

Aww, offended that I cut you off? You handed me the knife
I'll keep standing my ground and living my life
While you drown in misery
Go live in Dubai since you're hungry for someone's money

Empathy In Exhaustion

All these years, I've been drowning in self-neglect
It's about time I self-reflect
All these years, I've been exhausted from all the empathy I've been carrying, making me forget who I am
Showing empathy feels like a scam

Now I find it difficult to open up my heart

When I do, I get ridiculed and then ripped apart
Since when did these motherfuckers consider bullying art
This is why I'm becoming more selective
Trust is a rarity but it can be defective

All this empathy is making me exhausted
These motherfuckers shouldn't be trusted
Chew me up then spit me out
Leading me to self-doubt

Don't ask me why I'm heartless
Expressing empathy has led me to emptiness
Danger is creeping in my chest
Expressing empathy has led me to fatigue, my feelings remained unaddressed 

In Voids We Trust

 Yeah I know that the motto is In Paws We Trust
But this is all about black cats, loving them is a must
They love to hypnotise us with their moonlit eyes
Fall asleep next to us until the sunrise

Black cats are indeed a sign of good luck
Those who think they're bad luck, they suck
How can you hate on them sweet little voids
They're better therapists than steroids

Black cats are so photogenic
Their furs are soft, and the sound of their purrs is so therapeutic 
Squidgy little toe beans
They love to eat their veggies, especially their greens

I love waking up to the sweet sound of their meows, they are so cute
It'd be cute if they can learn how to salute
They know how to pose for the camera
Did you know, the Italian word for panther is Pantera
Black cats are so metal
They're all silky as a rose petal
But they're skilful ninjas
And they're just as cool as gingers
Mind you, they both have souls
Don't listen to them trolls

In voids we trust is the motto
I'd buy a mansion with loads of cats if I ever win the lotto 

A Fetish For Misery

"What would people say?" Fuck them
I don't care what animosity they have towards me, it sounds like a them problem
More like they have a fetish for misery
I ain't talking about a Stephen King story

"Shame you don't..." Shhh don't even think about trying to change my mind
Take your negativity and stick it where the sun doesn't shine
"You look like..." Shhh, you must be blind
Yet you're the one that is contradicting yourself with shit like "be kind" and "Praise the Lord" in your bio
Telling me to unalive myself for being busty, that's a no-no

Everybody seems to have a fetish for misery
Haven't you fuckers got any decency

Don't like the way I dress?
That's none of my business
If you badly want to watch me fail
Then why on earth are you on my tail?

Here we go again with the guilt trip
You're asking for a fat lip
Here's a phase I recommend that you don't skip

That's right, it's called stay in your fucking lane
I ain't got time to be listening to the shit that shits out of your brain 

Jealousy is an ugly disease, get well soon mate
Darling, go buy yourself a personality
Aww thank you, I appreciate the hate
Hope you recover from your fetish for misery

Kiss kiss, you won't be missed
You can't see me, I'm hiding in the mist

The CEO of MEGA

 I'm gonna keep dressing like it's Halloween every damn day
Pass me a white mocha or a vanilla latte
That's right, I'm the CEO of making emo great again, I'm a motherfucking queen
Going to shows is my scene

Rawr, I'm a dinosaur
No wait, I'm a kitty cat
It's acceptable to girly dance to metalcore
Headbanging to A7X (Avenged Sevenfold), all hail the Deathbat
I'm running out of black eyeliner and nail varnish, I need more

That's right, I'm the CEO of making emo great again
I will remain undefeated
I won't let anyone take over my reign
I won't obey, I'm a mother fucking rebel
I'm a badass witch. Do you want me to read you a spell?

I'm never too old to mosh
Bunny boilers hating for no reason, oh my gosh
I'll bet they'll get their arse whooped in the moshpit
It's not my problem that your man thinks I'm fit
If this stanza bothers you, that's not my problem
Everyone knows you're probably cheating, such a scum
It's funny how I got bullied for my style
Now all of a sudden, motherfuckers wanna be me so badly, that ain't gonna last for a while

Black cats are metal as fuck
Their beauty and personality bring good luck
Donnie's favourite band is whatever band I like, especially Paleface Swiss
That's my boy, he gets another forehead kiss

No Mum, it's still not a phase
Make Emo Great Again is the catchphrase 

Build-A-Billionaire

 So, I wrote a two-part poem called Build-A-Bitch
So, now we're calling out those who get off to the rich
Now you got bitches and their Disney Princess Syndrome, looking for a fella who is in finance, trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes
Yet they're adding filters in their photos, exposing their own lies

Wake up, this ain't build-a-billionaire
That's like bragging about having an affair
What happened to look for character & value
There's different eye colours out there that ain't blue
That's like wanting to be with a chick that is built like MewTwo

Back off, sugar daddy
I'm in my bad girl era; my name's not Maddie
I don't want you and your money; I ain't interested in the old meat
I ain't interested in shopping at the high street
Please, I don't want to get diabetes
I also ain't interested in catching genital herpes
Don't expect me to apologise for my vulgarity
You want equality, you got equality

Wake up, this ain't build-a-billionaire
Meeting up for coffee or bubble tea is better than going to a fancy restaurant in Leicester Square
Marrying a fella from Dubai ain't a flex
I wouldn't be surprised if your marriage ended because he's probs obsessed with his ex

MEGA (Make Emo Great Again)

 Along time ago
I sat in my room, rocking out to Guitar Hero
It has been an infinite escape from the C-PTSD factory
A place that screams misery loves company
And that is school
Where the idiots tried to take me for a fool
Thank fuck, I'm out of that shithole
One time, I discovered Kohl

So, let's make emo great again
Headbanging to A Day To Remember while writing poems and wearing black eyeliner, that's my jam
"You can't sit with us!" I don't want to, you can't follow me on Instagram
"You'll grow out of this emo shit!" That's a lie
The emo in me will never die
It was never a phase
Make my way to Sainsbury's to get myself a Kerrang mag on Wednesdays

Going to see my favourite band live is more my scene
I'm still that emo cat queen
Since my quads got bigger, I switched from black skinnies to black leggings
I ain't got time for South Asian weddings

Let's make emo great again
Let's go shopping in Camden
Yay! I see Pokémon
Gotta get them all before they're gone
Ooh this fit is cute and it's in black
I hear Teenage Dirtbag playing through the speakers, throwback

It's not a phase, mum
I bought all the clothes and eyeliner with my income
So, it's a lifestyle
Quoting lyrics on my MySpace profile
Girly dancing to Avenged Sevenfold, that's valid
More valid than your broken ballad

I'm still making emo great again
Got a paper and a pen?
Coming right back like a boomerang
You tell them, Smash Into Pieces
Gotta meet up with my cat gang
I'm hungry, I'm gonna have some Reese's

MEGA!
Another way of shouting SEGA!

Pressure Academy

 Welcome to Pressure Academy
Where everyone's threatened by individuality
Everywhere it seems that high school never ends
Especially when you're surrounded by them, fake arse friends

All these years, I've been burning out
Good looks, good grades that's all they fucking cared about
Makes no sense that I got punished for being a Pokémon fan
Yet I get called boring for having self-respect because I ain't stealing someone's man

Parents should be proud that I catch Pokémon, not STD's
Yet they cared too much about GCSEs
These petty princesses are sporting that mean-girl energy
That shit ain't pretty
Just because I refuse to wear sarees and salwar kameez
They reek of jealousy, a dangerous disease

Spare me them Totodile tears
When you've all been ostracising me for years
All you do is pick & choose
Don't believe the truth, you lose

Hey you!
Don't tell me what to do
Just because you remember me from the same school
I remember the shit you did, they weren't cool
All these years, my soul was filled with guilt and shame
Leave me alone, I don't want to know your name

Fuck school uniform
I don't wanna conform
When I was forced to wear a skirt
I got accused of being a flirt
How I dress
Doesn't scream yes
No, I didn't ask
To wear this mask
Don't confuse my safety for selfishness
While you're mistaking assertiveness for aggressiveness

I don't miss Pressure Academy
They're responsible for the theft of my identity
I feel sanity
When I'm far away from the total depravity

Shadow Of Silence

 I've waited so long for this mask to fall
These daggered eyes make my skin crawl
All these years, I've been trapped under this facade
I felt that my life was a fraud
The thought of being normal is the bane of my existence
I become so reserved, that I start to keep my distance

There I was, thinking that I was insane
When I was living through my pain
Dying to be seen
Dying to be heard
Destroying the things that make me happy, why are they being so fucking mean?
Shhh don't even say a word

It's time to end this masquerade
It's my time to revive and now it's your turn to taste this bitter blade
I don't believe in being the bigger person
Being positive all the time is such a burden
These unsolicited comments violate my soul
Don't give me that eye roll

Fear me, I am the shadow of silence
you'll know pain, you'll know the true face of violence
I'll burn your ego to the ground
Fuck that, I won't come around
Time to turn that fragile smile of yours upside down
You think you know me? Get outta town

Bad Girl Era (Part 2)

 Everyone's favourite bad girl is back
That's me and I'm still allergic to every existing red flag
Aw, you don't like me because I wear black
Bitch please, don't make me gag

Good girls don't make history
I don't miss drowning in anybody's misery
Don't like the way I look? Well tough
Aww are you mad because you can't treat me like a puppet? Bitch please, don't make me laugh

Uh-oh, I ran out of fucks to give
I don't need you telling me how to live
You're so salty I think you need to remove sodium from your diet
That's what you get for expecting me to stay quiet

Achoo! I'm allergic to being called princess
I don't care that I'm hard to impress
If I was a Pokémon, I'd be a fighting fire type
Knock my foes with a flamethrower and a fury swipe

Does it look like I'm into dark romance
I ain't gonna give that crap a chance
No means no
Why can't you let it go
I have my own purpose that doesn't need to be justified
The good girl every weakling worshiped, already died

Karma's a bitch, right? 
I am Karma, I won this fight

Violence, I Choose You

 So, I woke up and chose violence
After all these years, I've been trapped in silence
Protecting my peace, keeping my distance
Put your fucking weights away, it ain't rocket science

I'm sick of stone-aged ickfluencers going to the supermarket and talking shit about food that we all like to enjoy
Can't believe that I'm about to name-drop oh boy
Yeah, I'm talking about Eddie Abbew
His mindset on nutrition rhymes with eww
Bodybuilders be claiming they're natty yet they're relying on them roids & tren
You promote eating disorders, I don't want to be your friend
No one cares about your 3 day fast
"Bagels ain't real food," Go touch some grass
All the fear-mongering shit you're trying to preach is a massive migraine
You and your disciples of delusion can stay in your lane

"Just trained arms" aka showing off this poseephat
Shout out to the legend, Nicole Drinkwater
Who is a pro at mocking ickflunencers
That record themselves and harass anyone that glances at them for a few seconds, fuck that

Mate, I said no
I don't want to go to your place and do cardio
"Why are you training upper body, you're a girl"
Your sexist comment makes me want to hurl
Leave me alone and let me listen to my music
The fuckery dripping down your mouth makes me sick

Now, this is the leg curl machine
That works on hamstrings, not G-strings
Get your mind out of the gutter, this ain't a sex scene
Lat pulldowns give you wings

The Thornologist used violence, it was super effective
Ickfluencers need to get themselves a new life that ain't defective

Dickfluencers

 Guess who's back again, destroying ickfluencers
I felt that it was missing the D, so let's talk about dickfluencers
Hold the fuck up, fitness isn't supposed to be sexual
By photographing your arse, claiming that you just trained shoulders? You're fucking delusional!

At the gym, I'm here to get shit done not talk shit
Having a six-pack or a big butt doesn't mean you're fit
That looks like an edit
People like you are the reason why people feel that they aren't good enough
Because you all want them to believe the same stupid stuff
"Couples who train together, stay together" stop normalising codependency
"Look at us, we're so in love" Yeah, get fucked! Have some decency!

No one cares about your stupid film production
This is the gym, not a personal studio
Step back, I ain't falling for your deception
This ain't your gym, we paid the same gym membership with the same amount of dough
Be better than that and mind your own business
Narcissism doesn't go with fitness

Anyway, I'm getting exhausted
I don't wanna see another post about 'hot girl summer' that's morbid
Wait, isn't it called Hot Girl Scammer?
I didn't stammer
I ain't buying your programme
I heard that's a scam
"I don't like you because you don't skip chest day!" Bitch please, I don't give a damn!

Ickfluencers

 It's time to talk about the bullshit on social media
The shit that spreads like gonorrhoea
You ickfluencers ain't so wise
Especially female fitness ickfluencers that are in shape, thinking they can empathise
By sitting down, claiming to have belly rolls that look like foreskin, no cap
Photoshopping their bodies and claiming that it's real, miss me with that crap
Offended by reality? Oh, snap!

Do this, do that to lose belly fat
100 crunches a day and cutting out your favourite foods? Fuck that!
Sugar-free drinks don't cause cancer, stop fucking lying
Ha! You're mad because I said there's more to fitness than growing your glutes? Hahahaha I'm dying!
News flash, coffee isn't a meal
One meal a day ain't ideal

Who fucking cares about what you eat in a day
Because we all know that you're looking for a prey
Maybe more to fall for your bullshit
Fuck being hot & skinny, I'd rather be strong & fit

Offended because someone walked past your camera? Oh, boo fucking hoo, this is a public gym
Calling some innocent lad a creep when you're the one harassing him
No one cares about your glute pump
Go back to wherever you came from, aka that toxic waste dump
Calm down Amber Heard we all paid the same gym membership
Cut the crap you're trying to sell, I ain't gonna take a sip

Not my fault that these cherries are getting bigger from training chest
And also eating high-protein lunches and dinners that include lean meats such as chicken breast
Shhh no one asked for your opinion, Glutella
When all you do is train your glutes, thinking you can pull a fella
This is why I don't follow female fitness pages anymore
When most of their content is all about glutes and core
I'm not surprised that it's something you don't want to hear
Keeping on spreading shit that you love to smear

Hold up, I ain't done
Got you like a shotgun
I'm looking at the weak-minded males that think they're Sigma
Sniff sniff, I smell internalised misandry
Along with your open misogyny
Yet you demand equality

Quit the bullying, you better listen to Joey Swoll
No one likes an internet troll
Train smarter or go home
Fuck off with your Main Character Syndrome

Peaceful Protection

 Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a kind heart
All the pain & betrayal tore her life apart
She grew up and became a heartless woman which became her work of art
She was made from the heartache
From all the disrespect she can no longer take
Do you know who she is? That's me

Life's better when no one's blowing up my phone
Thanks for showing me that I'm better off on my own
Some people don't deserve to be in my future
Especially trying to infect me with their delusional culture
Some things weren't meant to last
Some things should stay in the past

I ain't watching another episode of one of your dramas
Leave me alone, I wanna stay at home and watch The Punisher in my pyjamas
If you can't respect a no
You've got to go

Are you mad because I got boundaries? That sounds like a YOU problem
Murder backwards is spelt Red Rum
I'm not falling for your breadcrumbing because I'm not easy to manipulate
You just don't know how to communicate

Once upon a time, there was a woman who refused to let someone steal her heart
And that woman is smart