Ickfluencers

 It's time to talk about the bullshit on social media
The shit that spreads like gonorrhoea
You ickfluencers ain't so wise
Especially female fitness ickfluencers that are in shape, thinking they can empathise
By sitting down, claiming to have belly rolls that look like foreskin, no cap
Photoshopping their bodies and claiming that it's real, miss me with that crap
Offended by reality? Oh, snap!

Do this, do that to lose belly fat
100 crunches a day and cutting out your favourite foods? Fuck that!
Sugar-free drinks don't cause cancer, stop fucking lying
Ha! You're mad because I said there's more to fitness than growing your glutes? Hahahaha I'm dying!
News flash, coffee isn't a meal
One meal a day ain't ideal

Who fucking cares about what you eat in a day
Because we all know that you're looking for a prey
Maybe more to fall for your bullshit
Fuck being hot & skinny, I'd rather be strong & fit

Offended because someone walked past your camera? Oh, boo fucking hoo, this is a public gym
Calling some innocent lad a creep when you're the one harassing him
No one cares about your glute pump
Go back to wherever you came from, aka that toxic waste dump
Calm down Amber Heard we all paid the same gym membership
Cut the crap you're trying to sell, I ain't gonna take a sip

Not my fault that these cherries are getting bigger from training chest
And also eating high-protein lunches and dinners that include lean meats such as chicken breast
Shhh no one asked for your opinion, Glutella
When all you do is train your glutes, thinking you can pull a fella
This is why I don't follow female fitness pages anymore
When most of their content is all about glutes and core
I'm not surprised that it's something you don't want to hear
Keeping on spreading shit that you love to smear

Hold up, I ain't done
Got you like a shotgun
I'm looking at the weak-minded males that think they're Sigma
Sniff sniff, I smell internalised misandry
Along with your open misogyny
Yet you demand equality

Quit the bullying, you better listen to Joey Swoll
No one likes an internet troll
Train smarter or go home
Fuck off with your Main Character Syndrome